This bag of sweets contains twelve ‘treat size’ koala bear-shaped hollow chocolate snacks, filled with caramel. The sweets are made by Cadbury and so the chocolate is Dairy Milk, which is not my favourite chocolate, as I find it rather more flaky and I prefer a creamy chocolate. The promise of hidden caramel is enticing, though.
Each chocolate snack is separately packaged within the main bag, with the Caramello Koala appearing on the individual wrappers. I’m not entirely sure that koala bears are a reddy-brown colour, understanding them to be more of a grey hue from what I’ve seen on nature documentaries, but a grey mascot is probably not the best colour for a chocolate product.

Examining the package a little I find the standard product information and disclaimers as normal, including the warning that the snack ‘may contain traces of nuts’. I wonder what a koala’s nuts taste like, although it’s reassuring to know that Cadbury has tried to remove them as thoroughly as possible before sale.
Pulling the individual treat’s packaging apart reveals chocolate moulded in to the shape of the Caramello Koala, which probably appeals to The Kids. I chomp in to the chocolate. It tastes like standard Diary Milk, except the caramel inside intrudes upon the flavour like the ten o’clock news intrudes on your favourite film, but in a good way. The caramel is gooey and sweet, a wonderful complement to the chocolate.
By itself the chocolate would be nothing special, but add the caramel and you get a smooth and tasty chocolate treat. This is not the genius of the snack, though. No, what makes this a snack to truly enjoy at a higher level than any other snack I’ve tasted so far in the name of science is the sadistic quality encouraged.
Grab one of the Caramello Koala snacks and tear the top off the packaging. This exposes the head of the cuddly Caramello Koala but keeps its arms restricted to its sides, unable to move or escape from its plastic enclosure. Now you can bite slowly in to the top of the koala’s vulnerable chocolate skull, hearing its ineffective screams of agony as you suck out its caramel brains. The Caramello Koala lasts for quite a long time with its life essence slowly being sucked out, and it is even more tasty because of it.
To maximise your evil potential, once the caramel is all sucked out you can discard the hollow husk of a bear and start on the next one. Maybe you could rip off the top of all the tiny koala bears and let them watch their siblings get their caramel brains sucked out one by one, viewing their own impending fate. Mind you, if you don’t like sweaty chocolate maybe you shouldn’t do this.
I highly recommend the Caramello Koala chocolate snack, both for offering an outlet for torturous tendencies in a safe environment as well as being actually quite tasty.


