Snacks Across the Pond

15th March 2009

Bounty Without Mutiny – The Best Kind of Bounty

Filed under: Biscuits/Cookies, From the UK, Savoury, Sweet, Sweets/Candy — Tags: , — Burrage @ 7.26 am

I feel that my entries are staring to take on a vaguely familiar tone, for which I feel I should apologize, but then again why should I? It’s a free country! Damn you all to hell, and so forth.

First, as is increasingly the custom, I am sorry the lag between arrival of goodies and their subsequent review is so gigantically enormous, and second, I must say yes sir! What an impressive bounty of confectionery! I’m both grateful and impressed, and although I fear I will suffer massive weight gain seeing this review through to the end, I will stick to my task because that’s the kind of guy I am – weird.

Onwards!

1. Pork Crackles, Mr Porky

Ages ago, I read a joke in either The Times or Viz that went something like, “try to chat up girls who eat pork crackle, because it shows they’re willing to stick something salty, bristly, and unhygienic in their mouths”. Ha ha! I didn’t really get it, but never mind because any endorsement of pork crackle, no matter how obtuse is OK by me because these things are really tasty. Salty though, that’s for sure. Holy shit!

2. Drumstick, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

Not chicken, ice cream nor musical instrument, but a chewy sweet lolly (as the wrapper says). I don’t know why they’re called a Drumsick because they look like no kind of drumstick I know. Nor do they taste like any kind of drumstick I know, but that’s OK because they are nice, a sort of sweetie strawberry and cream kind of flavour. Sweet. And chewy; definitely chewy. I don’t know the right name for the consistency but it is firm and almost plastic-like, like a Redskin or Fantale. But on a stick.

3. Love Hearts, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

These are brilliant – I honestly have not seen these in Australian shops but for some reason they are quite familiar – small disks imprinted with a heart shape and saucy message – for example, we have Cute Kid, You’re Gorgeous, Dream Boy, Gee Whiz, and I Love You And Will Stalk You Till The Day One Of Us Is Dead (reduced font). Slightly fizzy, like sherbet, but with a milder, fruity flavour.

4. Orange Fizzy, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

These look a bit like a glass marble – smooth, transparent exterior, like a standard boiled sweet, but a twist of something else in the centre – something sinister lurks within, mayhap. I’m still sucking it as I type, so will revisit this once I’ve hit the middle.

UPDATE: Nope, nothing. A slight change in taste, but not the fizz explosion I was expecting – a blessed relief actually, as I’m feeling a bit delicate today. Perhaps a dud? I’ll try another.

UPDATE II: Here we go! A gentle fizz. Nice. I like these.

5. Jammie Dodgers, Burton’s Foods Limited

These were actually the first to be devoured when I opened the box, because we had no biscuits in the house and I felt like a biscuit. Very fortuitous. Shortbready biscuit with jam in the middle. Quite nice, good sort of no-nonsense biscuit one might have with a cup of tea.

6. Fig Rolls, Jacob’s

Likewise an excellent accompaniment to a cup of tea, Jacob’s Fir Roll is a pillow-shaped, softer biscuit than the Jammie Dodger with a figgy centre instead of jam. I quite liked these. The packet also displays some congenial input from the proprietor, which (to me) demonstrates a certain about of pride in the product. Well done, Mr or Mrs Jacobs! Fore example, it reads “a good source of fibre”. This is good – I am a great advocate of foods that contain some level of goodness that can at least partially absolve your guilt as you consume them. (I often regale strangers in pubs with my theory that brewers should manufacture a beer rich in vitamin C, for this reason.) “How do Jacob’s get the Figs into the Fig Rolls?” it adds. With a machine I should imagine, but for some reason the packet does not provide an answer.

7. Mr Chews, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

A colourful wrapped reveals a colourful Drumstick-like sweet but not on a stick. Similar in taste and consistency to the Drumstick, but subtly different, I can’t put my finger on it. Wait – is that a hint of marzipan? No of course it isn’t, how stupid would that be. Mr Chews also have a “Mr Men” character on the front which made me wonder how they avoided copyright infringement notices from the estate or Roger Hargreaves. I can only surmise they bought the rights for the Mr Chews character off a tobacco company, perhaps.

8. Generic Boiled Sweet, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

Good, no-nonsense fare from the Swizzels Matlow people. Basically a boiled sweet. Well, it is a boiled sweet, no basically about it; like a Barley Sugar. No name though. I suggest the “Bastard”.

9. Climpies, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

“Climpies”? What sort of a name is that? What sort of a name is the Bastard then, you might well ask, and that is a damn good question. I won’t try to answer – I know when I’m beaten. The Climpie is a tiny, round softish boiled sweet, with a fruity flavour. It comes in a pack of four, and are quite addictive. I like these too.

10. Fizzers, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

Fizzers are similar to Love Hearts in that they are small, disk-like sweets with a slightly fizzy feel on the tongue, like sherbet thought milder. No encoded messages though, not that I can see anyway.

11. Fruity Pops, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

The Fruit Pop is a fruit flavoured boiled sweet on a stick with a slightly tangy flavour. It looks like a Chupa Chup though with a brittle, harder consistency. Nice taste though – I think this would be amongst my favourites.

12. Parma Violets, Swizzels Matlow, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire

Similar in appearance to the Fizzers, although violet in colour, and with a distinctly non-fizzy taste. According to some information I found on the web they have “violet” taste. I can’t really confirm or deny this. Definitely a milder taste than the Fizzers, but I think I would go for the Fizzers or Love Hearts over these.

In conclusion, I once again express my thanks for this latest box of goodies, and would offer my picks of the bunch as Pork Crackles, Orange Fizzy, Fig Rolls, Climpies, and the humble Fruity Pop. They are a credit to your fine nation, and not least to the fine people at Swizzels Matlow – well done, sirs and madams! Anyway I shall endeavor to ensure that the next batch of stuff from Australia meets this high standard, but until it arrives, good day and God bless.

10th May 2008

Twisties Cheese

Filed under: Crisps/Chips, From Australia, Savoury — Philip @ 7.30 pm

‘Life’s pretty straight without… Twisties cheese’. Ooh, get her. Maybe my life isn’t as straight as whoever wrote the slogan assumes. Or maybe these Twisties really will make me feel too straight once I’ve finished the bag. There’s only one way to find out.

But first, is there a possessive apostrophe missing from ‘Twisties Cheese’, and this is a bag of cheese made by Twistie? I’m supposing there isn’t and that there are other varieties of Twisties other than cheese, but I can’t be bothered to search the web to find out what other varieties are out there, mostly because I have an unopened bag of snacks in front of me. I’m not totally convinced that this a cheese-flavoured snack though, what with ‘100gNET flavoured snack’ printed on the bottom of the bag. It could be a computer error and ‘100gNET’ wasn’t meant to be printed there, or I could be in for a tasty new flavour experience. Or it could just be cheese and I’m being too literal again. The list of ingredients contains cheese powder, after all. Oh, and above the list of ingredients it states ‘cheese flavoured snacks. I am now curious as to what cheese powder actually is. Perhaps it’s the dust-like residue that is left around cheese factories, and it is swept up and used to flavour cheesy products. I’d better start tasting the snack, because I can’t wait to get to the Potassium goodness.

Opening the pack I am greeted with a cheesy snack food smell. Hey, why is it that so many crisps are cheese flavoured? Is there something special about the combination of cheese and crisps, or are people demanding cheese is packaged in a less severe bulkness? People around the world have cried out their love of cheese but a simultaneous dislike of eating it in chunks. We don’t want to have to buy and break out both cheese and crackers each time we want a snack, we want a single bag of cracker-like bite-sized chunks with the cheese already applied? Yes, that’s probably it.

Apart from being not very twisty at all, and nobbly instead, these little Twisties look awfully familiar. They are Wotsits created in a vacuum, removing any trace of fluffiness from their being. So Nik-Naks, really. But cheese-flavoured. Like Wotsits, the cheesy ones at least. In fact, I think I have something rather similar from the US that I have yet to feast on, a few bags of Cheetos. This seems to be a universal snack that is produced by each nation at one point or another, the demand for instant cheese and crackers being a defining point of a culture’s growth.

Mmm, this is quite a nice cheese powder sprinkled on the faux-crackers, and there is a satisfying crunch to the snack. It’s interesting, for the crunchiness almost hints at a grit-like texture yet without any sense of a grit-like substance being tasted on the tongue or left in the mouth. It’s quite curious, and creates a lovely crunch probably even long after the snack has gone stale. These are really tasty. The cheese isn’t overwhelming, they don’t taste too sweet or salty, and they are not too dry. On top of that, the cheese powder residue left on the fingers is neither a garish colour nor difficult to quickly brush off, which is almost essential for keyboard cleanliness when blogging about snacks. With these Twisties Cheese ‘made with Australian grown corn and rice’ I hope that Mr Burrage is rightfully proud of this purely Australian snack food, and it is a treat to sample them here in the UK. The American Cheetos snack has quite a lot to live up to now. Mr Burrage, what other flavours of Twisties are there?

To end, I’ll note that at the bottom of the rear of the pack is what I assume to be a common slogan on Australian snack foods, ‘Enjoy the snack, then dispose of the pack, thoughtfully!’ The pack’s punctuation, not my own. Personally, when I was chomping away on my bag of Twisties Cheese I was considering the effect of the division of labour on the happiness of the lower- and middle-classes and whether the availability of cheaper goods and more free time is adequate compensation for an overall feeling of dissatisfaction for most of the working week. I hope that was thoughtful enough, because it’s rather more demanding of a snack food than I am used to.

1st January 2008

A Veritable Cornucopia of Snack Products

Filed under: From the UK, Savoury, Sweets/Candy — Burrage @ 6.43 am

For my first participation in Snacks Across the Pond, I sent¬†out two rather modest little packages – two Milo bars, one¬†to the UK and one to the US. I do not wish to pre-empt the reviews for this product, but let’s just say it’s very Australian (ie crap). So then, imagine my chagrin when a parcel arrived from the UK, almost literally BURSTING with goodies, to wit:

  • Hula Hoops (Original, Salt & Vinegar, and BBQ Beef)
  • Crunchie bars
  • Kit Kats

Such generosity made me feel very ashamed indeed. Anyway, I’ve started to munch my way through this bounty and although there’s a bit left, I feel I’ve reached a point where I can offer a satisfactory review. So here goes.

1. Hula Hoops (United Biscuits UK)

Hula Hoops are basically¬†small cylindrical chip-like thingies about 1 cm in diameter and depth; quite hard, but jolly tasty. The physical sensation of eating them is a little unusual, like eating little washers or something you might find in a hardware store. But very nice! I just polished off a packet while I was writing this. According to the packet they also have 55% less saturated fat. I’m not sure how much fat they used to have, but the statement makes you feel good about eating them, and that shouldn’t be underestimated. 8/10

2. Crunchie (Cadbury)

Crunchies are crunchy. That’s all you really need to know.¬† But, if you insist on knowing more, they are a honeycomb-wrapped-in-chocolate kind of caper, and¬†very nice they are too. Similar to the tooth-shattering Violet Crumble, though mercifully several levels down the Mohs hardness scale. 7/10

3. Kit Kat (Nestle)

They have Kit Kats in Australia too, but I was nevertheless very¬†happy to see them lurking in the box. By gee Kit Kats are good. Little wafer biscuity things coated in chocolate, slender, and usually four fingers to a packet. Best enjoyed straight from the fridge on a hot day, and rest assured it’s very hot in Perth, Western Australia (where I live (obviously)) right now. Yum! 9/10

John

10th December 2007

Oreos

Filed under: Biscuits/Cookies, From the US, Savoury, Sweet — Philip @ 10.15 pm

I know Oreos. I have never had them before, but I know of them. I know that they were invented in Baltimore and had a baseball team named after them. They are so famous that Philip J. Fry makes Oreos in the future. Whilst I haven’t eaten Oreos themselves I am aware of the general concept, that of a creamy filling sandwiched between two biscuits to form a crunchy, creamy experience, similar to the chocolatey Bourbons or buttery Custard Creams over here. Oreos seem to be half-way between the two, with chocolate biscuits encasing a light-coloured centre.

How to try them. I could peel the biscuit off the creamy centre and taste the parts individually, or I can crunch in to a whole Oreo and have the complete experience. I shall try the whole Oreo experience to start with.

My, that’s a dark biscuit. It doesn’t smell particularly chocolatey for something so dark, it has a rather pleasant biscuit smell. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Ebony and Ivory was written for this biscuit, and all that talk about pianos was a diversion to hide a sweet tooth.

Crunch crunch! Hmm, there’s not much taste when first bitten in to, but, my goodness, there is certainly some strong taste a few chews in, and it lingers. That’s quite powerful. I’m not entirely convinced I can taste the creamy centre, such is the strength of the biscuit and the thinness of the centre. Needs more creamy goodness! I can see why people peel these apart to eat the sections separately. Our own Custard Creams and Bourbons at least have enough filling to be tasted alongside the biscuit. Or maybe the biscuit is blander, which is probably true of the Custard Cream. Anyway, time to press on!

It occurs to me that the creamy centre offers two advantages. One is that it cushions the bite against the crunchy biscuit. The other is to soften the palate with its creaminess before the heavy chocolate biscuit taste kicks in. Mind you, the strength of the biscuit peters slightly with subsequent bites, or maybe it’s dulled my taste buds more than a vindaloo could.

Let me try the components separately. Before I do that, a quick diversion. The packaging is quite neat, with an easy open pull tab that actually both opens easily and reseals effectively, which I noticed when plucking a second biscuit from within. I am suitably impressed! This is technology that we could borrow over here. Although I have to admit to being a little ignorant of the state of the British biscuit packaging I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that a biscuit tin or jar is still required to decant all the biscuits of a pack in order to keep them fresh. The Oreo packaging is a neat, self-contained unit.

Back to the biscuit itself. Twisting the biscuits with opposite torque pulls the two biscuits apart from the creamy filling glue with little effort, although the centre adheres to both bits of the biscuit and is not found whole on one half. Scraping the filling off and tasting it reveals it to be mostly tasteless but sweet, with more of a fondant texture than the creamy fillings I’m used to here. It may simply be a sweet counterpart to the bitter biscuit, let me see. Yes, that seems about right. That’s a strong biscuit, and any flavour in the filling would be lost when eaten as a whole. I’m sure I couldn’t eat too many of the biscuits without the filling either. The two halves seem quite enough by themselves, and the filling by itself doesn’t really do anything for me. The Oreo as a whole is pretty tasty, but I think I’d prefer a Bourbon to be honest.

3rd December 2007

There’s Something about Prawn Cocktail

Filed under: Crisps/Chips, From the UK, Savoury, Sweet, Sweets/Candy — Tags: , , — kerri @ 2.19 pm

Years and years ago, at least ten now, I experienced the most wondrous thing. On a visit to England, I had a go at some Wotsits, prawn cocktail flavor. Now, it sounded pretty gross, and I only tried them on a whim. Kind of like those booger-flavored Bertie Botts Beans.

But no. Gross was not to be, not with the old P.C. I couldn’t get enough. I tried the Walker’s P.C. crisps (they’re really potato chips, but I’ll call them crisps so as to not anger the gods of prawn cocktail). They, too, rocked my socks.

This was also the visit when I met the revered Crunchie Bar. The Crunchie holds a place of worship in my home. Their shiny gold labels adorn…well, ok, I saved a few of them, on a shelf in a closet. I like shiny things, but I’m not that much of a freak.

small packet of Skips, prawn cocktail flavorSo it was with divine wonder that I opened a parcel from Philip, and it contained both Crunchies AND the idols that are bags of prawn-cocktail Skips. Now, I’d not had Skips before. They are these lovely little discs, each looks a bit like a sand dollar, actually, only about an inch in diameter. They’re made of corn or rice or something, and they positively melt in your mouth. The prawn-cocktail flavor is perfect for the amount of solid food you’re getting, and at only 89 calories (USAian kcal) per bag, MANG. I could go on a diet with these.

OK, not so with the Crunchies. Not diet food. But ah, so sublime. I eat my Crunchies in an unconventional way — first I crack off the chocolate coating with my teeth, as much as I can, and only then to I revel in dissolving the sweet, crunchy honeycomb on my tongue. Why they don’t sell these in the US I will never understand. They’re similar to the Aussies’ Violet Crumble…but better, I think.

So, with this first parcel, Philip has helped me to rekindle two old flames…ahhh, sweet, sweet junk food love.

30th November 2007

Cape Cod Potato Chips

Filed under: Crisps/Chips, From the US, Savoury — Philip @ 6.32 pm

All Natural!

No Preservatives!

The packet is quite enthusiastic about that, which can only be a good thing for my inaugural snack in this diplomatic exchange.

The crisps smell good when the bag is opened, and taste good! The flavour is what I would call ‘ready salted’, which really just means ’salted’. It’s a hangover from the days when crisps were put in to bags unsalted and a sachet of salt was added for you to salt them yourself. ‘Ready salted’ just means that you don’t have to do that any more.

These are tasty crisps. They’re pretty much like the regular small bags of crisps that we have over here, but with a bit of extra crunch. They certainly are crunchy, even after several weeks crossing the Atlantic on a steam ship. That could be from the ‘traditional kettle-cooked’ approach, as kettle crisps here are crunchier too. It also gives the crisps more or a potato flavour, something to savour rather than just to munch on.

These crisps contain zero grammes of ‘trans fats’, which is a good thing as I can eat the rest of the packs without putting on weight. Probably. On the back of the packet I am given ‘Nutrition Facts’. Facts! Not the ‘nutritional information’ we get, but good hard solid facts about what I’m shoving down my gullet. I should hold on to one of the bags so that I can compare it more thoroughly to a UK-based crisp packet.

The salt is making me thirsty. I’ll have to try one of the drinks soon.

I give the Cape Cod Potato Chips a thumbs up.

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