Another bumper pack of UK goodies arrived the other week thanks to the generosity of the proprietor of this fine website. Again I feel both overwhelmed and guilty given the meager quantities of fare I’ve sent back in return, but nothing a shipping crate of Wagon Wheels won’t put right, eh?
I should also point out that the parcel arrived containing a cross note from Australian Customs complaining that they’d had a rummage inside and failed to find any heroin which just wasted everyone’s time (or somesuch) so I will be sure to include some opium in the shipping crate. Just to keep everyone happy.
Anyway, without further ado and in no particular order, we commence with:
Fruit Pastilles, manufacturer unknown
These were incredibly addictive! The sugary sweetness, fruit flavouring, and firm chewiness (highly superior to the ‘Gummi’ product, I have to say) made it almost impossible to stop eating them. And when I say ‘almost’ I mean ‘absolutely’ because the whole lot got wolfed down in several minutes and the wrapping thrown out before I had a chance to note down the manufacturer, for which I apologise profusely. Perhaps Rowntrees?
Here’s what Wiki says about Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles:
‘Rowntree’s Fruit Pastilles’ (says Wiki) ‘are small round sweets measuring about 1.5 cm/0.6 in in diameter;’
Check
‘they have a jelly-like consistency,’
Check
‘almost like huge Jelly Tots’
Huge, eh? Now, ‘huge’ makes me think ’several orders of magnitude larger than’. I have a poor recollection of Jelly Tots, so perhaps these days they are indeed only nanometres in diameter, and so I will have to defer to Wiki on this matter.
‘Fruit Pastilles are covered in sugar’
Check.
‘Ice-lolly versions were originally made in Telford, Shropshire but are now made in Crossgates, North Yorkshire by Richmond Foods after it bought Nestlé’s ice cream division in 2001.’
Shropshire? Well, who knows. But I can’t rule out they were Rowntree‚’; anyway, enough time wasting. I give them 9/10.
On to:
Jacob’s Cheese Footballs
Jacob’s Cheese Footballs are small round savories measuring about 1.5 cm/0.6 in in diameter, and are probably not made in Shropshire. The box describes them as ‘light & crispy wafers with a soft cheesy centre’ which is about right. The cheese filling is quite salty and creamy, more like a cheese spread than cheese as such, but quite nice; reminds me of Christmas snacks we used to get when I was a kiddie.
The packaging is quite noteworthy too; it is a sturdy Pringles-style reinforced cardboard cylinder replete with instructions on how to recycle it. Namely, ‘this is the perfect tidy up and recycle activity. A place to put all your sweets, money or small presents you just opened on Christmas morning’. And why not! Good advice indeed. It also has jokes printed on it, e.g. ‘Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? A. He had low ELF-ESTEEM!’ Ha ha! Gracious.
7/10
The Fruity Malt Loaf, Soreen
‘The’, as opposed to ‘a’‚ Fruity Malt Loaf is to all intents and purposes exactly what the name says, a loaf that is fruity and malty. It’s really a lot like a chewy fruit cake. To be honest I’m not sure what to make of this one; it actually tastes quite healthy which is really the kiss of death as far as I’m concerned when it comes to tasty snacks. Although so attractively chewy it must be said; very much like the Pastilles. An acquired taste I think.
6/10
McVitie’s Penguin
Now this is more like it! Yum! McVitie’s Penguin(s) are individually wrapped biscuits measuring 7 x 3 x 1 cm, each one consisting of a piece of chocolate wrapped in biscuit wrapped in chocolate. Very tasty; a lot like the Australian Tim Tam though perhaps with a hint of aniseed. There’s not much more I can say about these, they are very nice. Although I must say like the name of the manufacturer. Just about all confectionery in Australia is made by a generic European company (e.g. Nestlé); there is very little that is typically Australian. So to see an unfamiliar name like ‘McVities’ (or Soreen) is all rather exotic.
9/10